Hoarder Extraordinaires: Stop!

Last night was a very powerful night at our young adults ministry, Vertigo, at City of Grace. Words cannot begin to describe when God has fully entered into the room and is working within His people. It's stronger then the most powerful, moving speeches man can compose. It's more powerful than 50,000 people cheering on their favorite team at the local football stadium. It's more core shaking than an 8.0 earthquake. It is unquestionable to the saved and the unsaved when His powerful presence comes. 


Last night was beautiful. Pastor Jason (aka my amazing husband) was truly touched by the rescue that came to him through our Savior, Jesus Christ. The challenge was loud and clear: How can we not desire to save the life of another on Christ's behalf when He has truly saved our life? The moment was sensitive, it was challenging, it was raw and it was God. God was reminding us of the crap He has rescued us from. It was a challenge to all to remember that and not hold it for our own, but open ourselves up, look past our own issues, our individual identity crisis, our selfishness and find others who need a Savior. 


This morning I was at Boot Camp (yes me!) and a fire fighter was telling us that she had had 3 hoarder fires in the last year. 3 homes burnt down, because they hoarded everything they ever encountered. They shared nothing, they kept their garbage and their treasure all compiled in one shell of a home. It leads me to believe that we too can be that way in our own hearts. We have experienced Christ's redemptive power first hand; we keep it to ourselves. We have experienced (some of us) horrible lives; and we hang on to that too. Many of us search for significance and find nuggets that we can cling to for a time; hoarding that moment in time. Many of us attempt to overcome a past of mistakes and sin; holding onto it instead of releasing it to a forgiving and gracious God. Meanwhile, all the good and bad is compiling. It's impossible to sift through; we don't conquer and throw away our baggage. We don't fill up and share our wins, our salvation experience, our testimonies, our struggles. Instead, we hoard it; our hearts filling until we can no longer breathe. We aren't truly allowing God's work to purify us. We don't truly recognize the powerful work of grace which we have been given! We wonder how long our hearts can take such suffocation before they explode; with nothing left but ashes of hopelessness. 


We experienced something new last night in a room of 160 young adults (aka life-savers). A releasing came. An understanding arose. A recognition of God's gift to us that has overcome all past behaviors, sins and experiences. An undefinable yet undeniable moment where God reminded us!


The challenge was this: Recognize the amazing gift of your life saved; stop hoarding it & start living in it! Moreover, save the lives of others. After all, we are all meant to save a life!

The Little Things

Don't you wish, at times, that there were more hours in the day to do the things you truly enjoy. More hours to play. More hours to learn. More hours to enjoy family & friends or just some simple peace & quiet; while not taking away from responsibility.

I'm hungry for more time to do the things I'm excited about. I love to read. Right now I'm reading 3 books; all of which are so great; none of which I have more than a few minutes in the day to read. I love to do creative things. I love to see the finished result of a project I've been wanting to accomplish. I love to bake...mmm!

Lately, I've found myself so frustrated that by the end of the day I haven't been able to do anything that really allows me to relax. Of course with two kids, a husband, ministry life and more, it makes it difficult to complete much more than feeding ourselves and the kids. We work hard and need to begin to play hard. It's a fact, at least for
me, that when I don't have time to play and do the things I enjoy I'm not prepared and ready to do what I'm responsible for. I've got low energy and am not the best that I can be. I'm working hard to establish my God given gifts and find security in Him to push into the task He has set before me. While pushing forward I have to find time to be still and enjoy the gifts He has given for that day.

Here's to a season of finding/making time to do more playing so that I can be more effective all around!

Starting yesterday with this yummy goodness and a moment to do something thoroughly enjoyable and delicious!

My Little World Changer Turns 2!

So, today my little man is 2! I can't believe that he is already 2. It seems that I was just pregnant with him (partly because I was still prego just 9 months ago with his little sister), but we waited for him and prayed for him and received him! Justice is a gift from God for sure; even his name was chosen by God and we believe is a sign of things to come through his life. I don't know what he will be when he grows up. I don't know how he will impact his generation. I don't know if he will follow in his parents footsteps as a Pastor or will influence through another channel in our world. Either way, I do know that what he will do will be great. 

We continue to relentlessly pray for him as he continues to grow into the man God has destined him to be. I'm sure many would think I'm crazy for speaking about who he will be as he is only 2 years old, but one thing I know is it is never too soon to begin to pray for the great man my handsome son will become. 

For now though I will let him be the amazing boy that he is. He is handsome (as mentioned), brilliant (literally, I'm not being biased), a little crazy (a lot at times), fun, playful, cuddly and so much more. He loves to pray and read his Bible (though sometimes I think this is an excuse not to sleep - I'll take it either way!). He's our little man and we are proud, blessed and humbled to be his parents.

Happy Birthday Justice!

So Much To Be Thankful For

Here it is Thanksgiving Day and naturally I begin thinking of all the things I have to be thankful for. Wow! I'm overwhelmed! I need to get it all out so I decide, in the midst of preparing for a relaxing day with friends and family, that I need to write about it. It's been too long since I've felt the need to write, but I know that writing reminds me of all the moments in life I have to share and be grateful for.

One of the last things I shared in my blog was about my fears of having a second  baby. Yes, it's been that long. By now those fears have come and gone. I now have the greatest gift I've ever received, my baby girl, Shyloh Grace. I can't even explain how she has changed my world. First of all she is the best baby. Since day one she has, and there is no exaggeration here, been nothing but smiles! She is the epitome of her name, Shyloh Grace; peace/tranquility and of course, grace. She has been the peace in the midst of all our storms. She makes us slow down and enjoy our surroundings, our world. Her smile brings joy in the midst of life's craziest moments. I believe with all my heart that she was sent here from heaven to remind Jason and I of God's overwhelming love for us. And now, she is six months old! I can't even believe it. I'm so thankful for my little Shyloh Grace. Here's a pic so you can just get a hint of what I get to experience every day:

Now of course I must share with you my other pride and joy. Our son, Justice. He is amazing! He is the essence of "boy" in every sense of the word. He loves to play, get dirty, throw things, climb, jump, disobey, wrestle, play cars, and of course cuddle with mommy. There is a slight chance he will end up a mama's boy,  but don't tell him I told you. I enjoy every moment watching him learn. I took him to the doctor a few days ago and proved what I already knew to be true... that he is BRILLIANT! The doctor asked me how large his vocabulary was. She guessed 10-20 words, as if that would be normal. At that I laughed and said oh no, he speaks in full sentences and has a very large vocabulary. She thought by "full sentences" I must mean he could put two word phrases together. I laughed again and said, "No he can say full sentences, like 'Can I go with you?'" He is just 22 months and indeed is brilliant. Her expectations were blown, as mine are on a daily basis. I love my little "Monkey Moo" and am so thankful for him.

Then there is my "hubs". I don't even know where to start with how I am thankful for him. I don't know if I always understand the ways he makes my life complete. He is amazing. Seriously, Jason is a man of God, like I rarely see. He is constantly pressing in to the will of God for his life and ultimately our life. He is an amazing preacher, speaker, encourager and leader. He loves doing life and ministry and is rarely overrun by the two. I adore him and I admire him. I respect him and love him. I wish I could be like him! I love how the two of us are literally two puzzle pieces made one. He is an amazing father. He encourages me to dream and pushes me to be better. It will be 7 years on January 1st, but almost 20 years since I first met him in 5th grade! It is crazy to see what God has done through our lives together and I'm so excited to watch as he continues to use my man for great things!

These are just a few of the things I have to be thankful for, but there is so much more. I'll just list a few: amazing friends, grandmas & grandpas, provision, health, love, joy, and an amazing God who always takes care of our every need.

Today, slow down, take time to really appreciate what you have as we go into the hustle & bustle of the Christmas season. Thank God for what He's given you.

Praying an amazing Thanksgiving to all my friends and family!

Embrace Your Place

Seven months ago, when Justice was just 6 months old, Jason and I found out that I was pregnant with our second child. I should explain my emotions to you, but please don't judge me! I was a wreck. My initial response was, "OH my God" (a prayer/freak out), than I was immediately moved to tears and sadly, not those of joy. How was I going to do this? I had just started feeling comfortable in my skin again and my life. I had begun to finally feel like I could still impact a generation, be a part of my church, Pastor with my husband, love my husband and still be a great mother. How could I possibly do it all and move forward with two children? 


I've spent the last several months off and on wondering how in the world I'm going to be able to do more than just be a "mom". With two kids my whole world will change, right? I've heard it said a million times that the jump from one child to two is very difficult! But I still have dreams, ambitions, and goals. I strive to do everything excellently, but something is going to have to give. I know that being "mom" is number one and I want it to be. That is what I must do it perfectly. I can't fail at it. So, what has to go?


Sunday night we had Christine Caine visit our church. She is a powerful and dynamic speaker! She always brings a challenging word. I'd heard this particular message before, but after a day of "heavy moments", moments where things weren't perfect, where I doubted my gifting, where I desired more, but gave little effort to get it (yes, all in one day!), this message was incredibly necessary. EMBRACE YOUR PLACE. 


She was talking to me! Did she know what I had been struggling with? Let me just be incredibly honest, when you go to church 3-5 times a week, times become rarer and rarer when you feel like a message is directed at you. Being a pastor, we get wrapped up in the "doing" and miss the moments where God might be speaking to us. I needed this. I needed a reminder. She spoke on the body and how every part is essential, how even the smallest parts can cripple the whole. I needed to remember that my part is being played only if I chose to play it. I needed reminding that if I don't play my part, that the body is crippled. What is my part? I'm still figuring some of that out, but here's what I do know: I am mother, I am wife, I am Pastor, I am friend, I am sister, I am leader, I am daughter. I will and can embrace these things, that I know I am. As I embrace who I KNOW I am, God will show me how to do become the things I desire to be.


While this last few months has had it's ups and downs, I'm excited for what the next year entails. I'm excited to meet my little girl, Shyloh Grace (Shyloh means "his gift"). I have my moments of freaking out, but I know that God has put desires deep within me to be mom, Pastor, speaker, writer, wife, lover, friend, blesser, encourager and even more yet to be identified desires. I know that if I stay faithful to the "place" he has put me in during this moment of history, that he will stay faithful to me and the desires he has put in me.


There is a reason and a purpose for this little girl in our lives at this moment. There is a reason, as well, why these passions are stirring inside of me in this moment. I choose to embrace the place that I'm in, cease this moment and live it to the best of my ability. If I don't then I will cripple more than just myself. I will cripple my family, my friends and my church; because I'm a small part of a whole. I'm needed. My situation doesn't hold me back, it gives me opportunity to love more, to learn more and to live more! Plus it blesses me with a little girl, that I may have never gotten around to!

Slow Down for a Desperate Generation

Over the past few days I have found a new desire to slow down and begin to cherish moments. I have a 13 month old who is growing up way too fast, plus I’m 7 months pregnant. (Just realized I'm in my 3rd trimester and have barely even noticed how quickly it's happening! Major freak out moment!)rushing it. Not to mention that there seem to be fewer and fewer enjoyable moments in life, at least until we begin to notice and mark the ones that are. Watching my son, Justice, grow up this year has only increased this need to slow down and enjoy moments. Time, in and of itself, is fast enough without me rushing it.


When we are busy running full speed ahead, we don't only miss our own moments, but the moments in which we need to take time to effect those around us. We live in a generation filled with hurt and pain, a generation of busy people; where families are only surviving by way of two incomes and barely that. We live in a generation where every attitude, desire, or preference is acted upon with little or no shame. We're so busy trying to keep up that we have begun to miss opportunities to slow down. We're missing opportunities to get past our own dysfunctions, distractions and disabilities and change a generation through kindness and generosity.

So my challenge to myself and you is this: slow down and decide to learn more, grow more and change more in the moments we find ourselves in that we might not only impact our own outlook, but that of those around us. Daily we have opportunities to spread kindness around us. Daily we fail at it as we are caught up in our own ambitions, distractions and busyness. Daily we miss the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit to change a generation that is desperate for someone to notice them, smile at them, encourage them. 

Mark Twain reminds us of the effect that kindness can have, when we take the time to give it. He says,   "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Being kind in a moment has an impact much stronger than expected, I believe, a spiritual impact!

So beginning now I hope to remember the change I can make by enjoying moments in my life and slowing down enough to realize the effect I can have on the life of another. I hope you can do the same!

It's About Time

So, I've been desiring for months to pick up a pencil and begin writing. However, it just doesn't happen that way anymore. Diaries have become non-existent, at least when a writing utensil is required. So here I am, with a desire to write, and little idea where to begin. But begin I must, if I want to get anywhere.

My virtual diary will include the truths your mama never taught you about marriage (if my husband allows), parenting and all other things pertaining to life in general. Plus, some random thoughts along the way, hopefully some of which are God inspired. Many of which will be inspired by my boys and soon to be little girl. Others will hopefully be from me digging a little deeper to find things God is speaking to a generation who needs Him.

So, hopefully this blog will not be endless, pointless and irrational; but rather fruitful, encouraging, humorous and REAL.

Here's to blogging and any good that can come out of it! Cheers!